Phoebe talks to Dad about how tired they are and how much they are both looking forward to the upcoming Thanksgiving break. Dad and Phoebe talk about Thanksgiving, Friendsgiving, and how it’s not too early to start the Christmas season, and also about the diminishing marginal utility of candy corn. Phoebe gives an update on her academic decathlon career and the results from her first competition this year. Phoebe talks about her competition speech topic being about whether she would fight a horse-sized duck or a hundred duck-sized horses (a hypothetical previously covered on the podcast). Dad shares a story from the family archives about the time his persistent and annoying personality helped Mom learn the prologue to Canterbury Tales in college. In the News, Dad talks about a Japanese train company that apologized for a train leaving 20 seconds too early and about an ugly ancient shark discovered off the coast of Portugal. Phoebe talks about ridiculously overpriced simply objects being sold at Tiffany’s over the holidays, then Phoebe and Dad argue about the merits of an emotional support squirrel. Dad and Phoebe take a Thanksgiving BuzzFeed Quiz to see how normal their Thanksgiving is. Finally, for Treat Yourself, Dad and Phoebe are joined by Henry and William, and they all sample fudge-covered Ritz and nutmeg and cinnamon Triscuits.